


I Can't

by Grace_Logan



Series: Free For All [6]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Drabble, Zombie AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7096678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grace_Logan/pseuds/Grace_Logan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone had become used to it. Used to the people dying after getting bitten. They'd had their own heartless executioner to take care of them should they ever get bitten. He didn't think of them as human anymore anyway. At least, that's what he told himself. Repeated it over and over and over again until it replayed itself alongside the visions of everyone he knew flopping limp to the ground in front of the barrel of his gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't

Izaya’s arm shook, his mind rushing through every person he’d put down since the fall of humanity. Shinra, Yumasaki, Anri, Chikage, Mikado, Saki, Togusa, Namie, Simon, Kururi… he didn’t even know this person. They’d just tagged along with the group, safety in numbers and all that… he had no idea what this persons name even was and yet, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it any more. He couldn’t pull the trigger.

  
His breath came in stuttered gasps and he was vaguely aware of someone calling his name as he dropped his arm and let the gun fall to the floor. He dropped to his knees beside it, head in his hands, body shaking, chest heaving and vision swimming. He just couldn’t anymore.

  
“Izaya?! Izaya what’s wrong!?”

  
Someone was shaking him. They moved in front of him and lifted his head. Calm brown eyes stared into his, worry etched in every crease of his face.

  
“Dotachin..”

  
“Izaya, are you alright?”

  
“..Dotachin I..”

  
He couldn’t breathe. Izaya shook his head and leaned forward into Kadota’s arms. Kadota froze for a second before he realised that Izaya wasn’t planning on attacking him and wrapped his arms around his thin body. He hadn’t noticed Izaya had been eating less, there were the increased instances of Izaya giving away the last of his meals but he felt as though he’d gone without a fair meal in weeks. When did this start?

  
“I can’t… not. Not anymore Dotachin.. I can’t, I–”

  
“Shh, shh, it’s alright. You don’t have to. Someone else can do it. It’s ok Izaya. It’s alright.”

  
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

  
Kadota sat back on his butt and dragged Izaya onto his lap. Crouching was beginning to hurt his knees and Izaya was in an odd position, kneeling and leaning forward. Slumped as if he couldn’t bare his own weight. He held Izaya tighter and shooed everyone away, infected nobody forgotten in the face of Izaya’s break down.

  
“It’s alright. You don’t have to be sorry. You won’t have to do that again I promise. You’ll be ok Izaya.”

**Author's Note:**

> This can be taken and used in anything one should come up with if the mood strikes.


End file.
